Sunday, February 17, 2013

How would you deal with this? - Christian Forums

The Ancient Way - Eastern Orthodox The forum for Eastern Orthodox churches (such as Greek, Russian, Antiochian, etc).

Ignatius21's Avatar

Can somebody please pass the incense?

Gender: MaleMarriedFaith: Eastern-OrthodoxCountry: United StatesMember For 3 Years

Join Date: 21st May 2009

Location: Dayton, OH

Posts: 1,031

Blessings: 5,044,915

Reps: 147,593,101,646,403,840 (power: 147,593,101,646,408)

How would you deal with this?

At my son's school (he's just turned 5 and is in preschool, but next year he'll be with the same's a Montessori class). There's a woman who works where I do who is a lesbian, who is "partnered" to another woman, with an adopted daughter. And I just recently learned that her little girl is not only at my son's school, but next year will be in his class.

Now I don't expect them to be discussing their parents much. But at some point he'll see or hear that she has "two mommies." And it will simply be undiscussed in that'll just be another one of those normal things that really isn't any big deal. But he calls things as he sees them and will surely ask "Why does this girl say she has two mommies?"

So what's the compassionate but principled way to explain that to a 5 year old? It's of course not the only thing that will need explaining...eventually he'll meet kids with unmarried parents and the like...but at least there it could be explained away as "well they just aren't married yet" or some such thing.

Anyway, this just drives home to me that this is unavoidable in our enlightened, modern society and I can't be naive in assuming that we can avoid it if we just close our eyes. Perhaps something as simple as "We don't think that's right, but we can still be friends and just not talk about it..." etc.

Has anyone faced this yet? How did you address it? Or how would you?

"Only pray that I may have power within and without, so that I may not only say it but also desire it; that I may not only be called a Christian, but also be found one." - St. Ignatius of Antioch

My two cents...worth every penny!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Gender: FemaleMarriedFaith: CatholicParty: US-DemocratCountry: United NationsMember For 1 Years

Join Date: 14th December 2011

Posts: 182

Blessings: 1,006,252

Reps: 9,646,157,468,720,556 (power: 9,646,157,468,722)
Hi Ignatius 21 - Thats such an interesting question. (by the way, Im a new roman catholic, lurking on other forums, lol!) As someone who plans on raising her kids hopefully as Catholics (if their dad allows!) I know I will come up against the same thing. My problem is compounded by the fact that I have always had gay/lesbian friends, and a very close brother in law who I love very much who is a gay man with a partner - and I never, in my heart, could feel it is wrong - but I know what my faith teaches and understand about Gods will in terms of man and woman etc.

I think you are on the right track with what you said - something along the lines of "all families are different. We dont believe that their should be two mommies - but we must always be kind to people, even if we dont like what they are doing".

Another way to think about it - some kids have 2 mommies or daddys and its not because of gay/lesbian relationships. I knew someone who grew up with mom and aunt, from the time she was little, called them both "mom!" You can avoid the gay lesbian issue, focusing on how all families differ.


Pope John XXIII "Forget thunderbolts of lightening! Charity! Charity and direct, simple, loving truth..."

1970jennifer's Avatar


Gender: FemaleFaith: Eastern-Orthodox
View Profile Pic

Join Date: 18th January 2013

Location: St. Paul, MN

Posts: 49

Blessings: 1,646

Reps: 4,441,827,391,893,548 (power: 4,441,827,391,894)

5 years old? Don't say anything! Change the subject. That's waaaaay too young to even go there.


He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8 NKJV)

?What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.?

-Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

choirfiend's Avatar

Senior Veteran

30 Gender: FemaleMarriedFaith: Eastern-OrthodoxParty: US-OthersMember For 5 Years

Join Date: 2nd July 2005

Location: Pennsylvania

Posts: 6,149

Blessings: 2,140,909

Reps: 163,666,666,901,980,384 (power: 163,666,666,901,994)

Sometimes children don't have a daddy with them. Or a mommy with them. Sometimes children are raised by their grandparents, or an aunt and uncle. Mommy and I love you very much, and children who do not have a daddy or a mommy are also loved very much by the people who take care of them. Sometimes it is sad that their daddy or mommy is not with them, so it's not ok to talk about it to them. (and probably leave it at that.)

Anhelyna's Avatar

Ukrainian Greek CATHOLIC

Gender: FemaleCountry: ScotlandMember For 5 YearsCommander

Join Date: 29th November 2005

Location: Glasgow , Scotland

Posts: 16,302

Blessings: 20,481

Reps: 335,624,532,842,414,528 (power: 335,624,532,842,438)
As Choirfiend says --------

that's an explanation that a 5 yr old would be able to understand .

The question make come up more than once - so you just repeat the explanation each time - eventually it will sink in


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

The Nicene Creed

I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all that is seen and unseen. I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father. Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in being with the Father through Him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation He came down from heaven: by the power of the Holy Spirit He was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man.
For our sake He was crucified under Pontius Pilate, He suffered and was buried;
On the the third day, He rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures ; He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father;
He will come again in glory to judge the living and dead. And His kingdom will have no end.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, Who proceeds from the Father, with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, He has spoken through the prophets. I believe In one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church.
I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.

If a thing ain't broke DON'T fix it !

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

tigger45's Avatar

Regular Member

Angels Team

Gender: MaleFaith: ChristianParty: US-ConstitutionCountry: United StatesAngels TeamWatchman
View Profile Pic

Join Date: 25th August 2012

Location: Salt Lake City, Ut

Posts: 1,519

Blessings: 13,924,879

Reps: 276,537,307,812,527,712 (power: 276,537,307,812,529)

IMO if a child is old enough to ask the question you have to give them an age appropriate answer because if you don't someone else will. I would keep it simple and possitive and only deal with the question at hand. Deal with the other relationship sceanarios as they come up. By keeping it possitive I would just explain what God's perfect will is, and that is when a man and a woman love each other they get married and then start having children. Anyother way isn't God's way and we all need to keep looking to God to stay on track and even if other's don't we still have to be kind. Especially to the class mate who has the two mommies.

Eph 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

rusmeister's Avatar

The Education Thread Killer

48 Gender: MaleMarriedFaith: Eastern-OrthodoxCountry: United StatesMember For 5 Years
View Profile Pic

Join Date: 9th December 2005

Location: Russia

Posts: 5,466

Blessings: 1,166,964

Reps: 485,644,219,364,494,720 (power: 485,644,219,364,507)

Speaking about what the state tolerates and encourages, a society that is always trying to make square pegs fit into round holes can't stand. In the end, you simply cannot have education together that openly defies such fundamental truths about the human family and what is normal. In the end, if we cannot politically prevent such "education" then the only choice will be to withdraw our children or accept that they are deliberately being taught the opposite of what we want to teach (which is generally speaking not something Orthodox parents should accept - EVER). They will be indoctrinated, and if we turn that over to the state, they will have the state's indoctrination. It is foolish to expect that our children will be able to withstand the day-in, day-out reinforcement of morality alien to our own.

Biology IS, in a sense, destiny. A man is destined never to bear a child. A woman, generally speaking, is free of that destiny.
Children are NOT a burden to be free of, but a joy to be desired, and the image of what we must become if we would enter the Kingdom of God. I'd rather be "leg-free" than "child-free".

gurneyhalleck1's Avatar

"So that's what an invisible barrier looks like!"

37 Gender: MaleMarriedFaith: Eastern-OrthodoxParty: US-OthersCountry: United StatesMember For 4 YearsSoldier
View Profile Pic

Join Date: 16th October 2008

Location: The Outer Rim Territories

Posts: 6,855

Blessings: 180,359

Reps: 1,302,791,331,544,123,904 (power: 1,302,791,331,544,135)
My kids attend a private Lutheran-run Christian school. I have never encountered a lesbian/gay person there. But echoing others, I think your child is too young to "get it" yet. If the curriculum is solid and there is no agenda rammed down their throats, I'd ignore it. But eventually ALL kids are going to run into the gay thing. We will, as Orthodox Christians, confront it and explain to our children that it's wrong, a disordered lifestyle, contrary to Scripture and the Church's teachings, and a dangerous plague on our national and global morality.

At school my daughter mentioned one time that some parent was single and living with a man. We talked about how it was sinful (although nothing sexual was mentioned OBVIOUSLY!), and my daughter now just cringes at the mere mention of people having children and not being married.

While I tend to agree with the "avoid the occasion of sin" (sorry, the old Roman Catholic in me!) admonition Rusmeister throws out, I disagree with his pessimism that human beings can't survive indoctrination attempts. It's cynical and I think it paints a scenario in which human beings are so utterly weak and pathetic that their parents' teachings, the teachings of the Church, the Bible, and their faith life will quickly melt to pools of butter in the wake of secular brainwashing. I humbly disagree. Most of the kids at my parish are in public education and they detest such things and are awesome Orthodox Christians who take their faith seriously.

Now, California recently mandated that we teach homosexual heroes and gay advocates and other LGBT folk heroes from history in the classroom. That is set to kick in in two years or so. Several of us have already said we will refuse to comply. I know I will. I will conveniently "forget" to teach it until I am caught. When I am caught and held to the fire and compelled, I will refuse and evidently my educator career will be in full swan song mode in public education....

But at this point, I think our kids need at least some "real life" exposure to these things so we can confront them, shoot these ideaologies down, and show our kids the way. When the full-on gay agenda becomes mandatory in the classroom, at that point I'd most definitely pull out my child and place them in private school, home schooling, or some other arrangement.

These things are complicated, and we can't go throwing out charges of idiocy or bad parenting or foolishness at parents who make different choices than we've made. I hope, prayerfully, the Lord will guide you Ignatius. Best of luck, brother.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

ArmyMatt's Avatar

Regular Member

30 Gender: MaleFaith: Eastern-OrthodoxParty: US-RepublicanCountry: United StatesMember For 5 Years

Join Date: 26th January 2007

Posts: 8,388

Blessings: 2,116,381

Reps: 817,431,906,766,752,256 (power: 817,431,906,766,767)

I would agree with what choirfiend says. it kinda reminds me of the closing monologue from Mrs Doubtfire.

"Everyone capable of thanksgiving is capable of joy and eternal salvation." -Fr. Alexander Schmemann

"The time of the end, though it seems to be near, we do not know. Let us then struggle while it is still day, with the time and the weapons which our All-merciful God has given us!" -Fr. Seraphim Rose


Gender: FemaleMarriedFaith: SeekerCountry: Czech Republic

Join Date: 25th November 2012

Location: Czech republic

Posts: 3

Blessings: 716

Reps: 10 (power: 0)


And how would you explain that if it happened in their own family ? E.g. one of the parents wants to live with someone else who is the same sex ? What if the children will ask ??



nick diaz sheryl sandberg superbowl recipes super bowl kick off chili recipes carlos condit diaz vs condit

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.